Krislam’s Story

Krislam C.

What does depression look like for you?

Depression to me is really hard to pin point as a certain look since every mental health sufferer looks and acts differently with each person. There are some symptoms that are definitely common and others that are completely absent.

It can often times be seen as someone who looks like they have everything put together but are genuinely feeling lost inside – this is true even for myself. I often find myself feeling at a loss, unmotivated and helpless – the worst part is knowing that you’re feeling as such and sometimes unable to reconcile with yourself without medical assistance.

It looks overwhelming and irritable as you continue to brave out the thoughts, bring yourself to your center all the while maintaining a life and bringing your best self.

It looks depleting as you often feel powerless and exhausted from it.

It looks scary, almost like a huge monster that is constantly following you and haunting your every move.

It looks like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel, it just feels like potentially coming to accepting that “this is how life is going to be like forever”.

More importantly, it feels lonely. 

Depression is silent, but so incredibly loud at the same time.

Have you been touched, or do you know someone who has been touched, by depression or other mental disorder?

Both.

I have watched someone very close to me lose themselves in depression and other mental disorders. It’s hard to be so close to someone yet feel very far away. It is very difficult to witness someone you know deal with something that is bigger than themselves. I struggled being the person who wanted to always help, be there for them in any way possible way and often times being shut out and dismissed. It’s hard not to take it personal, but it is good to remind yourself that it’s not about you. It’s not easy being on the outside, but as I segue into my next part, understand that it’s not any easier on the inside.

I’m currently working with my therapist and my psychiatrist to figure out what is the root cause of my mental disorder(s). I’ve been through multiple medications to try and find the one that sits well with me (that’s for a while other story) and it’s been hard.

Your meaningful message you would say to someone who is currently going through depression or other mental disorder:

  1. You are NOT alone. You’ll actually be really surprised to find there are many people in this world who are suffering from a mental disorder. Sometimes that person isn’t even aware of it!
  2. You are NOT crazy. Don’t buy into the social norm or words from past generations who may tell you that it’s “All in your head” or to “Not worry and think positive thoughts”. It’s more than “just in your head” but that doesn’t make you any less of a human being.
  3. You are NOT weak for seeking help. I fought myself YEARS and YEARS to see someone. I was under the impression that if I went to see someone that I would be weak because I couldn’t solve it on my own, but that’s not true at all. Seeking help makes you brave, it helps you grow fearless to your own mind.
  4. You are NOT your mind. Remember that as powerful as your mind might be, remember that you are in charge. Intentions create actions — obviously easier said than done. Just remember that you come as a whole person and your mind is only a part of it.
  5. As cliché as this sounds, this too shall pass. Believe in yourself to get better – do whatever it takes to get you back on your feet, but hang onto the fact that there will be a light at the end of the tunnel even if it’s tiny.
  6. Take care of yourself first. This is your mind, your life and your spirit. Your. Health. Comes. First. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
See More Stories