Newton’s Story

Newton P.

What does depression look like for you?

Depression to me is being unable to find joy in life. Nothing seems exciting, and at times it feels like I am drowning in negative feelings. Life in general also seems colorless, muted, and dull.

Have you been touched, or do you know someone who has been touched, by depression or other mental disorder?

I was clinically diagnosed with depression when I was 19, was put under a mandatory 3 day psychiatric hold for having suicidal thoughts, and ever since then have done everything I could to climb out of rock bottom.

Your meaningful message you would say to someone who is currently going through depression or other mental disorder:

If I had any words of advice from what I went through personally, it would be to know that you aren’t alone. And that you never really get rid of it, you just learn how to manage it in healthy ways. I realized for me, I had a lot of unaddressed issues I had to face, and most of the time it was a fear of facing my problems that led me to feel depressed, helpless, and hopeless. Suicidal ideation to me was an escape, to help myself feel better about my life, to feel like I had some sort of control over it. It took a lot of soul searching and exploration to work through past trauma, and learning how to enjoy the little things in life and ultimately how to love life again. For me, it was the love of sports, the outdoors, and making new friends. It may take a long time to find your reasons for living, and there’s always another option than taking your own life.

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